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According to Shakespeare: "Nothing is either good or bad but thinking
makes it so.” Life is actually neutral. I believe it is our own
perception of life challenges that causes us pain. We give everything
in our life its meaning. We make ourselves upset by what we tell
ourselves about a particular experience. We only see how the conditions
affect the present time, seeing through the filters of our own beliefs.
Our perception of things is limited; we cannot see the whole picture.
Years later we may see the real implication of a significant event in
our life. What we once judged as “bad” actually may have been a turning
point in one’s life.
Here is an ancient Chinese story, found in the Tao of Pooh that
reflects this point of view. This old man has the philosophy that in
the long run you never know whether something is good or bad. Wait and
see.
In ancient China an old man lived with his son. One day he lost his
only horse. All his neighbors came by to commiserate with him on his
ill fortune. The old man countered, "What makes you think this is ill
fortune?" Next month the horse returned, bringing with it a herd of
other horses. The neighbors returned to congratulate the old man on his
good fortune. The old man answered, "What makes you think this is good
fortune?" With so many horses at hand, the old man's son took to riding
and one day fell off and broke his leg. The neighbors were back to
commiserate with the old man on his bad luck. The old man said, "Why do
you think this is bad luck?" It happened that the next year there was a
war and because the old man's son could not walk, he did not have to
fight.
There is no good news. There is no bad news. There is just news. Thus,
we see that events in themselves are neutral. It is the interpretation
that we place upon them that give them meaning. I believe our primary
purpose as spiritual beings, in human form, is to evolve into a deeper
awareness of this spiritual self. We are here to recognize our inherent
worth. Sometimes it takes an external challenge to force us to go
within to find that inner connection.
I invite you to state these affirmations when you are in a situation that causes you to move into judgment:
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I am willing to withhold my personal judgment about this event.
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I accept this experience as a gift that is masquerading as a challenge.
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I ask for Divine assistance. Help me to see this situation with new eyes.
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I choose to focus on whatever good I can glean from this experience.
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I trust that God will take care of the details that I do not understand.
Transformational Healing is seeing our suffering with new eyes. It allows us to be a witness to it, then experiencing what it looks like and how it feels. By shifting our level
of awareness, we are able to look at our suffering differently. When we
look at healing from our expanded awareness, we can have deep love and
compassion for ourselves, and those involved in our dramas.
There are three stages of inner transformation: experience, release and transformation. Let me share with you an example:
One of my clients had a serious test anxiety. She was studying to be a
nurse and failed a very important test. This required her to go back
and retake some of her classes. Her instructors suggested she
experience some hypnotherapy to get to the root cause of this issue.
Her instructors knew that she had learned the material, but was unable
to perform in a test situation. When she was regressed to the root
cause of the problem, she realized it stemmed from three different
circumstances where she had been inappropriately touched as a child.
She had remembered these experiences, but never connected them with her
test anxiety. The message she gave herself was that she was no good.
She didn’t deserve to succeed in life. The unworthiness was
overwhelming.
My client experienced her pain, was able to release her emotions around
these circumstances, and transformed her outdated belief patterns. By
focusing on the area around her heart, she was able to get in touch
with the Divine part of herself. She witnessed the experience through
new eyes and found an inner strength and compassion. She was able to
see herself as deserving the life she wanted. This woman was actually
looking forward to taking her next test, which of course she passed.
Experiencing, releasing and forgiving the past allowed her to move forward.
If you are in the midst of a life challenge, I invite you to follow these steps to Transformational Healing:
1.Do some journaling on this challenge to discover some of your own
self-limiting beliefs. Some of the common beliefs surfacing with my
clients are, “I am not a good person. I am not important. I am not
lovable. I am not good enough. I am not worthy. I don’t deserve to be
successful.”
2.Put yourself into a very relaxed state. Take in some long, slow, deep
breaths and focus on your breathing. Call in your Higher Self, that
wise part of you that knows. Explore with your deep inner mind what you
need to pay attention to today regarding your particular situation.
3.Ask for help in discovering the root cause of this issue. You may
have a thought, a feeling, or even a physical reaction. Some people may
get impressions or pictures. If you are not visual, you will probably
feel a particular sensation in your body as you focus on the issue. You
might ask it for a message. Be willing to explore this. Be a witness to
this experience without judgment. (If you feel resistance, just ask
yourself to pretend that you know the root cause, for indeed a part of
you does know.) Allow any information to come forth.
4.Realize that the thoughts, feelings and images that come up for you
were in the past. These have limited you from being your true self.
Release your feelings through journal writing, energy therapies,
rituals, visualizations, or by just setting the intention to let them
go. You have given yourself permission to let go of the past baggage. I
like to use a healing body of water to assist clients in clearing the
past.
5.Ask for help in determining the soul lesson. You might want to
reframe it by looking at it differently now. Can you find a gift in
this situation? How has it forced you to grow?
6.Forgiveness often follows this experience because one realizes that
every one does the best they can at the time, even if it didn’t seem
good enough. If forgiveness feels overwhelming for you, know that you
only need a little willingness to forgive. Spirit will take over the
doing. The following is a prayer I use with my clients, adapted from
Larry Nims, author of Be Set Free Fast, an energy release technique:
I forgive myself for taking this _________ on. I know I was only doing
the best I could. As much as I am capable of forgiving others, I
forgive anyone who may have purposely or inadvertently contributed to
this issue I choose to resolve. I know they were only doing the best
they could also. I love and accept myself. I no longer need this
_______ any longer. I am now willing to replace this ______
with________. (I often suggest unconditional love and acceptance for
oneself.)
7.The transformational stage occurs after you have fully experienced
and released the original issue. Imagine that you are now floating
above the situation. Invite in some healing light and water to fill
every cell of your body until you feel lighter. Send it through to
purify the experience you are witnessing. Move into the heart area and
fill your entire body with compassion, unconditional love and
acceptance. You might call in Angelic assistance to assist you with
total loving energy.
We each have an inner guidance system to assist us in our healing. It
brings forth our inner wisdom to transform the old pattern. I believe
that everything we experience can be turned to good. Our higher
consciousness calls us to explore, release and transform our deepest
difficulties. Healing is a work of a lifetime, and it can be a
wonderful adventure as we learn to move into our wholeness.
(I want to thank and honor Marilyn Gordon, friend and author of
Extraordinary Healing for her valuable insights into Transformational
Healing.)
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